'Física o química'

One of the random Spaniards I met yesterday told me today that I looked like a character from 'Física o química,' this awful soap opera set in a high school, that we watch every week to practice Spanish. It's epically bad, which makes it kind of entertaining, but its also epically long (2+ hours each week), so I kind of drift in and out of the room while its on. Everyone in the show is kind of a douche, so I wasn't really looking forward to finding out who she thought I resembled.

Would it be:

Cabano - the living avatar of douchiness who is so unbearable that even the fact that he has cancer doesn't make me root for him?
I call him "Shi-Rod" because he looks like the twisted love child of Shia LeBouf (who once got into an argument with an interviewer when he insisted, with unwavering certitude, that J.D. Salinger is dead) and Alex Rodriguez (who has not one, but two self-portraits depicting himself as a centaur hanging in his bedroom).

Or would it be Gorka - the drug-dealing but well-meaning nincompoop who is the male half of this season's teen-pregnancy plot?
(Ian loves this guy. I believe the above picture is now his Facebook profile picture. I have to admit, he's among the more entertaining and less heinous characteres).

No such luck.

Apparently, I reminded her of Thomas, the American English teacher.
His story, as far as I can tell, revolves around the fact that his Spanish girlfriend is bored with him, sexually, and decided to have an open relationship even though they love each other and oh the drama! and blah blah blah. After seeing the show, I considered contacting the State Department somehow and advising military action against Spain for this obvious attack on our country's reputation abroad. Thomas is a supreme sissy; when his girlfriend asks him to slap her ass, he complies, then shakes his hand as though he's injured himself.

Also, his forehead is about as large as an aircraft carrier, and he wears an apron while making breakfast.

C'mon, Spain! We are not that bad!